SubaruShareLove

Has anybody else seen the new unbelievably shameless Subaru TV commercial campaign? The only thing sicker than religious people who hold condemning beliefs toward atheists or members of other faiths – the only thing that makes me sicker than that (which is hard to do) would be businesses who make a perversion of the word ‘LOVE’ in a shameful attempt to sell their product, like Subaru’s newest ad: 
“LOVE…it’s what a Subaru is MADE OF”

No, Love is made of complete unconditional, forgiving acceptance of another – recognizing you are no better than they are, despite race, religion, creed, etc. It isn’t made up of PARTS OF A FREAKING AUTOMOBILE!(And if it was, it would be closer to a Dodge Charger, but I digress)

What’s even more sneaky and slimy about this is, this all kind of morphed from Subaru’s history of using the word ‘love’ in their more innocent “I LOVE my Subaru” campaign from years back. 

Then they got the idea to do a ‘donation’ campaign to sell their cars, featuring a few charities like the “Boys and Girls Club”, “Meals on Wheels”, “Habitat for Humanity” and a few others. Subaru supposedly raised 15 million dollars over 3 years by ‘donating’ $250.00 for every car sold during that promotion. 

Whether or not you believe Subaru would NEVER have priced in the $250 ‘donation’… Whether or not you clearly see through that ‘charity campaign’ as the typical ‘PROGRESSIVE LIBERAL’ version of CHRISTIAN businesses who advertise that they are ‘Christian businesses’ to get your business…Regardless, the charities made out nicely, and maybe I’m just being a bit too cynical for my own good. But that wasn’t enough. Now, Subaru has revealed their underlying fake colors, finally taking the ‘LOVE’ angle to this absurd level in their shameless effort to sell cars: 

“LOVE…it’s what a Subaru is MADE OF”… then they cut to grandma and the baby both asleep, holding hands in the back seat. One commercial has a mom saying, “My daughter grew up in the back seat”…WOW, so are you still homeless?…What happened, did Subaru build you a house through Habitat for Humanity?

No Subaru, your GOSH DARN CAR is not ‘MADE OF LOVE’… Let me tell Subaru what LOVE is ‘MADE OF’… LOVE is made of an Israeli and a Palestinian becoming best friends in the Gaza Strip, and beginning a movement to come together in brotherly peace.

LOVE is ‘made of’ more Muslims protesting in outrage for all the world to hear, at the Jihadist violent extremists within their ranks, calling them the shame and cancer they are to the Muslim faith.

LOVE is ‘made of’ a Christian straight guy who tells his newly married gay co-worker, “You know I left my church last week because I’m sick to death of the hate they preach about gay marriage”

Cut back to the ignorant Subaru commercial – “LOVE…it’s what a Subaru is MADE OF” Geeze, I can’t really say here what I really want to say, because it really goes against the ‘loving theme’ I’m trying to promote. But the truth of what Subaru is “made of” is beginning to have the distinct smell of a broken sewer main, with such a commercialization of the word love, and such an ad campaign is nothing short of fake pretentiousness. 

That said, it is amazing how many shallow people will see that commercial and go, “Oh my God!…Honey, Subaru is MADE out of LOVE! Well then we’ve just got to go buy one right NOW! Then Grandma can fall asleep drooling from her mouth, holding little Junior’s hand just like in the commercial. Cause that just wouldn’t happen in a FORD, being it’s just made out of metal and plastic!”

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About Connie Bryan

Writer, comedian and musician, currently residing in Sacramento, CA. Former talk radio personality from Central Florida. Currently doing stand-up comedy and producing/hosting a local TV comedy/variety show on Access Sacramento Channel 17. Please see demo material on my website at www.conniebryan.com.

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