EnergizerBunny

Someone SERIOUSLY needs to get mall security under control at Arden Fair Marketplace, and explain to them that if “Abercrombie and Filthy Itch” is going to ALWAYS have that driving bass and drum beat going like the backing track to almost every Lady Gaga tune, what do they expect is going to happen from mall shoppers?? OF COURSE customers are going to form a DRUM CIRCLE. And it is NOT COOL to TASE the Energizer Bunny…After all, it was a special honor that he even showed up and joined in with us, and you can’t just expect him to stop when you order him to, right?? 

Because as EVERYBODY knows, he’s going to KEEP GOING and GOING and GOING. You don’t freakin’ tase him for that, for God’s sake…he’s a celebrity. And as long as he keeps going – and as long as “Aberzombie and Floozie B#tch” keeps playing that heavy dance mix beat all day long, we are all going to keep drumming. OBVIOULSY, if you want us to stop drumming, you don’t have to use mace and a taser, just tell the store to turn it off!! Jeeze LOUISE! CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?? 

And it’s not like we were impeding or annoying shoppers, well except for the one lady and I do truly apologize for that. One of the members or our impromptu drum circle did get a little out of control when he started trying to play the bongos on her artificial boobs, but in his defense they did look more like bongos than breasts. 

Still, if anyone deserved to be tased it was him, not the damn Energizer Bunny. Poor bunny was still trying to keep the beat even while twitching on the floor to the electric charge. We are holding another drum circle there in protest next Saturday, and I hear “Animal” from the Muppet Show is planning on joining us(I guess he and the Energizer Bunny go way back), so hit me up if you want to join us…strength in numbers, the goal is to get security to give up and just join in with us as long as ‘the beat goes on’ at “Abercrombie and Twitch”

Connie Bryan

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About Connie Bryan

Writer, comedian and musician, currently residing in Sacramento, CA. Former talk radio personality from Central Florida. Currently doing stand-up comedy and producing/hosting a local TV comedy/variety show on Access Sacramento Channel 17. Please see demo material on my website at www.conniebryan.com.

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