I’m thinking about promoting a new morning talk radio show entitled: “THE HARSH SAD SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH”…let’s pretend the show is just beginning:

Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in to the program, I’m Connie Bryan and you’re listening to “The HARSH, SAD, SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH”…GOOOOOOD MORNIN’ to ya!!  

As you look out on the beautiful blue skies and take in the sunshine here in Northern California on this beautiful early fall day, isn’t it nice to take a deep long breath, even though you’ve just filled your lungs with about 23 different known cancer causing chemicals in the air? But MUCH better to know than not know, don’t ya think? 

Thanks for choosing to wake up with us on your morning commute to your job working for China, running the register at Walmart for minimum wage. At least you have the guts to tune in to our real truth program, rather than the fake pretentious types at PBS/NPR pretending to tell you how it is, while they sound like they are trying not to disturb the bomb squad defusing a nuclear warhead in the studio next to them.

Isn’t it nice to know that the U.S. Government is still on the job, earning your tax dollars – but the HARSH SAD SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH is that they aren’t earning that money on your behalf…Get this, they are “earning” your tax dollars on behalf CORPORATIONS ONLY.

Remember that critical part of the U.S. Constitution that read “We the People”?…Well that’s the biggest joke in Washington D.C. cocktail parties anymore. Some time ago while you were content to allow Walmart, Home Depot, Best Buy and Costco to take over your communities so you could get a job as a door greeter…during that time our politicians got together with those monopoly mega-corporate giants and took WHITE OUT fluid to that part of the Constitution, replacing it with “We the Corporations”.

The new “American Dream” has been replaced by “The Corporate Dream”…

Stay tuned to the HARSH, SAD, SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH, and when we come back I’ll share with all of our morning listeners what the “dream” is that super corporations are dreaming, ever since your American Dream is no more, replaced by theirs…But right now we’re up against a hard break, we have to run a few commercials for all the companies with no products made in America, who have foreign bank accounts and pay hardly any taxes in America, and who outsource almost all their jobs overseas, that support our Clear Channel Mega Conglomerate Media Group…

(5 minutes later) Well GOOOOOD MORNING! Welcome back, we’re SO GLAD you’re waking up and starting your day with us here on “The HARSH, SAD, SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH, I’m your host Connie Bryan…


Yes we were talking before the break about how the U.S. Constitution has been whited out in many spots, and replaced with wording that mandates a Corporate Democracy, as opposed to the Citizen Democracy it used to be when Americans used to hold corporations, business and government accountable for their unAmerican corruption…

“Government OF the Corporations, BY the Corporations and FOR the Corporations” is the HARSH, SAD, SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH of our everyday lives today. But again, better to know than not know, right? Here on this program we don’t pretend to be your advocate while we speak in a tone of voice that sounds like Tiger Woods is next to us about to either tee off on the 18th hole or have a nervous breakdown…

Let me ask you a question? Are you really content with your new redefined American Dream of making $10, maybe someday $15 an hour working the drive through at McDonalds? That’s all we hear lately in the media and on the news, Americans thinking they are standing up for themselves, picketing outside fast food stores and Walmart, demanding respect…that being $10 per hour for their exploited “careers” at the hands of corporations who don’t see you as an asset to honor and be loyal to, but a “necessary evil”.

Thanks for not changing the dial, GOOOOOD MORNIN’!, It’s a beautiful September day here in Northern California, and your listening to “THE HARSH, SAD, SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH”. We’re so glad to give you that early boost you need to get your day started on your morning drive…

See, that apathetic willingness to allow the American Dream to be stolen from you over the past decade or two… THAT was THEIR DREAM!…That was “The CORPORATE DREAM”… that the average American would no longer practically be able to be self reliant, self sufficient running their own small business, so then you’d be totally dependent on them for your survival.

The “Corporate Dream” has changed the American Dream for you into an “American Nightmare” that many Americans don’t have the BALLS to wake up to because they are content to remain sheep as long as they might be able to get Wendy’s to pay them $10.00 per hour to work the fryer and clean the bathrooms. CORPORATIONS DREAMED FOR THE LONGEST TIME THAT THEY’D SOMEDAY SUCCEED IN GETTING AMERICANS TO THE POINT THAT YOU’D DREAM FOR SUCH A “CAREER” THAT DEPENDED ON THEM and THEM ALONE, AND NOW YOU DO!

The “CORPORATE DREAM” is in the process of destroying the American Dream, because we have been asleep at the wheel, content to get fat sitting on our SHEEP ASSES playing video games and Farmville on Facebook, watching Honey Boo Boo and Duck Dynasty, while our politicians have sold us out to Big Oil, Big Banking, Big Insurance, Big Box Retail, Big Agriculture, Big Pharmaceuticals, on and on. And they are BANKING on the fact that Americans don’t have the guts or the passion to take their country back in the name of “We the People” on MAIN STREET.


They are banking on the likelihood that you will remain content with your redefined “American Dream” of a career at Burger King, maxed out if you are lucky at $12.50 per hour after twenty years… who knows, maybe a faked injury that you can make a workers comp claim with just before you retire, right? After all, you learned that trick from our new corrupt corporate culture that ushered in that new CORPORATE DREAM.

HEY EVERYBODY, we’re out of time, BUT THANKS for listening to the program! We do need to ask you to please refrain from calling our live caller line asking for a suicide prevention counselor, as we aren’t licensed therapists, but we’re so glad to help get your wonderful day started…

Tune in to “The HARSH, SAD, SICKENING and NAUSEATINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH” tomorrow (YES every day we add yet another adjective) when we will remind you about all the many cancer causing pollutants in your tap water and in almost every single food product you buy, and how they are there not because there’s nothing that can be done about it, LOL…but they are there because it provides some huge profit benefit for Big Corporations,  the politicians they are in bed with in the interest of the new “Corporate Dream”. That should be a GREAT SHOW, you don’t wanna miss it!!

Until tomorrow…I’m Connie Bryan…uh,seriously folks…we really need the suicidal callers to clear our phone lines so our sales people can communicate with our corporate sponsors. Just take a ZANEX and wake up with us again tomorrow, here on “The HARSH, SAD, SICKENINGLY PAINFUL TRUTH”… Oh, and don’t forget to “LIKE” us on Facebook 🙂


About Connie Bryan

Writer, comedian and musician, currently residing in Sacramento, CA. Former talk radio personality from Central Florida. Currently doing stand-up comedy and producing/hosting a local TV comedy/variety show on Access Sacramento Channel 17. Please see demo material on my website at www.conniebryan.com.

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