"Finger-lickin' Stupid"

“Finger-lickin’ Stupid”

America: Overdosed on STUPID?
The recent midterm election included ballot initiatives in a few states seeking to legalize marijuana for recreational use. They passed in Oregon and Alaska, and barely failed in Florida. (http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/04/politics/marijuana-2014/).

I have a few questions and observations for all of you dope enthusiasts…First, I realize you love to romanticize the fact that there is not one documented case of a stoner overdosing on pot. But I like to point out that depends on your definition of the word “overdose”. Every pot user I have ever met is a walking billboard that they have overdosed on “stupid”.

More importantly, how can we call ourselves “progressive”, especially you liberals who love to use that term to describe yourselves, and at the same time seek to profit from legalizing something so dangerous and unhealthy for young people?

First it was the American profit mongering from the sales and government taxing of cigarettes, and then the same thing motivated the repeal of Prohibition of alcohol so that we could profit from that. Ironically those two things began happening with legal marketing around the same time in the 1920’s.

If liberals are actually “progressive” thinkers, one would think we would have learned a lesson from the societal damage and destruction that resulted from the legalizing and mass marketing of those drugs that has so intensely influenced young people over the last century.

But to entertain such logic, one would need to assume that our country is truly founded on ethics and moral principles, not having anything to do with religion mind you, but as delineated in our Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. However, the truth is astoundingly the opposite today. The only “culture” we see being nurtured in America is a national “drug culture”. You ask a kid today what “citizenship” means and they laugh at you like you are some kind of idiot and tell you: “Citizenship is when I beat your ass and take your Citizen watch!”

I don’t mean to just pick on the youth of today…My overall point is that adults are not setting a moral, healthy living example for young people, and have shamefully not done so for a very long time. It is time for a non-religious moral revolution that teaches “community morals” and “societal human values” to get our country back on track as a force for healthy change on this planet. And I am here to prove anyone wrong, anytime, and any day of the week, who thinks that “recreational drug use” has any ethical or moral place in such a plan.

Just the term “recreational drug use” is retar…Wait, I’ll be politically correct…”mentally challenged”. I try not to use the word “retarded” accept in rare cases where it is the only word that fits, and actually in the case of those who call using drugs “recreation”, I’d argue that it clearly does. Think about it. You have to be at least “mildly retarded” to think that you should take toxins into your body for the purpose of getting stoned or high, and then call that a widely acceptable societal form of recreation!

Yet, according to a recent Gallop poll, 58% of Americans want to legalize pot for “recreational use” compared to only 12% in favor of legalization when they asked the question the first time back in 1969. (http://www.gallup.com/…/first-time-americans-favor-legalizi…) What was the name of that guy recently in the news that got in trouble for saying Obamacare only passed because most Americans are stupid? I don’t know about how that affected the passing of Obamacare, but he’s calling it like it is that most Americans have their heads up a certain part of their anatomy, especially morally speaking.

Pot advocates, especially Libertarians, love to champion the word “democracy” in their drooling at the mouth to legalize drugs. They love to toss the word “freedom” and “liberty” around, and say that the popular vote of the people is all that matters. They can’t stand it when you point out that number one, the Constitution is not a “democratic” document, and number two, freedom WITHOUT responsibility is anarchy.

Our forefathers specifically crafted the Constitution so that it ensured that our laws would NEVER be dictated by the “popular will of the people”. It ensured certain rights of the people in the “Bill of Rights” (first 10 amendments) but none of those rights include the right for drugs to be legal for the purpose of getting high for recreation. To advocate for such a national policy in the name of unbridled freedom is using freedom irresponsibly, which results in anarchy. And ironically, such chronic erosion of our national moral fiber is a serious threat to our democracy.

Yes, there is a need for medical marijuana to be legal for the six or seven people in each state who legitimately have Aids or Leukemia and need it to hold down their food. But in all the long “grand opening” lines we often see at medical marijuana dispensaries, 99% are just stoners seeking to get high. So the entire thing is just a huge lie and a scam.

Recent major medical studies have proven that marijuana causes not just mild damage, but serious damage to the brain when used while the brain is still developing. Why? What a silly question to ask: “Why”…as though anyone NOT high on drugs should be surprised that a toxin ingested into the body would cause brain damage. The reason why is because a drug – ANY drug – is generally toxic and destructive to your body and brain cells.

This is a no brainer. And newsflash…the brain is still developing up until age 25! So here’s another question for you dope advocates: How many pot users do you know who STARTED using, or will start using marijuana ONLY AFTER the age of 25? The answer is a resounding ZERO! OK, maybe one Amish kid who finally got up the nerve to see the world and visit San Francisco on his horse and carriage after graduating from college. (And by the way, you can set your watch to the fact that, now that it’s being legalized, down the line there will be many more major medical studies that will show that marijuana use causes brain damage period, not just while the brain is developing. Prior to its being legalized, there just hasn’t been as much focus on that as there will be now.)

I know all your “overdosed on stupid” excuses…”Well what about alcohol and cigarettes? They’re legal”. Yes, that is true. And first, let’s look at what good that has brought to our society? Nothing accept to be their own “slippery slope” and “gateway drug” to encourage marijuana and other drugs to be legal. Nice huh? Not very “progressive” if you ask me.

Second, would you at least agree we have to stop and draw a line SOMEWHERE, especially with the lessons we should have learned from the damage caused to our society with cigarettes and alcohol? Where do you dopers agree we should draw the line? Tell me you aren’t so mentally challenged that you don’t understand we DO need to draw a line somewhere.

Thirdly, there is an important major difference with alcohol and cigarettes. If you are honest you have to admit the truth that both alcoholic beverages and cigarettes CAN be used, and ARE often regularly used WITHOUT losing touch with reality or getting stoned/high in any way. Actually, most of those who have an occasional drink do so without any desire to get drunk or buzzed.

However, that said, it is true that we do have a chronic problem in America with the many others who abuse alcohol and are a threat to society’s safety in many areas, not the least of which includes on the roads, and in the area of domestic violence and other general crimes. This is because ANY form of using a drug impairs a person’s judgment making ability. Obviously marijuana is no exception.

As I mentioned above, one would think we would learn from the damage already caused to our society from the widespread misuse and abuse of something that CAN and often is used moderately without getting stoned, let alone legalizing another drug that IS NOT used for any reason other than to get high/stoned. (Again, stipulating the exception of the 6 or 7 Aids or Leukemia patients in each state who may need it.)

Lastly, in my stand-up comedy (www.conniebryan.com) I have a bit I often like to do on this topic where I tell my audience: “When you’re a comic, everyone loves to ask you ONE question…They love to ask you who YOUR favorite comic is. Mine is Bill Maher. (Usually there’s a lot of applause, especially from stoners.)

At that point I tell the audience: “Yes, Bill Maher is my favorite comic, but not because I share his view that we need to legalize drugs…However, I do agree with Bill that it is time we try something different for a change. Matter of fact, why don’t we try something RADICALLY different. How about this?…Why don’t we try SETTING THE RIGHT EXAMPLE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE?! How about we send a message loud and clear: You do drugs for “recreation”, you’re a f&*%ing LOSER!”

Usually at that point you can hear a pin drop, because the audience was not expecting that. At which point I finish by saying, “That said, I do feel kind of conflicted about meth…methamphetamine…(usually a big laugh and applause erupts from the comic tension) Then I conclude the bit by adding: “I actually feel very PATRIOTIC about meth, because it’s the only thing left that Americans still proudly manufacture!” (You can see this bit and many others by watching my recent 2 hour feature documentary I produced and filmed that showcases the stand-up comedy open mic circuit in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Sacramento called “Connie Bryan and Friends Open Mic Stand-up”. It is featured on my website at http://www.conniebryan.com, and on Youtube/conniebryan.)

Connie Bryan
(Connie Bryan is a writer, comedian and musician living in Sacramento, CA. Check out more of the Connie Bryan blog and stand-up comedy at http://www.conniebryan.com)

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About Connie Bryan

Writer, comedian and musician, currently residing in Sacramento, CA. Former talk radio personality from Central Florida. Currently doing stand-up comedy and producing/hosting a local TV comedy/variety show on Access Sacramento Channel 17. Please see demo material on my website at www.conniebryan.com.

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